winderlust | i tried to think of a wind pun for this title

I don't want to kill them.

[Jusis being angry is... more upsetting than he anticipated. Being accused of lying hurts, too -- he'd never do that. But Jusis doesn't know that. Jusis doesn't really know him at all, and he doesn't really know Jusis. That's the real issue here. The budding feelings they can't help, and the trust they can't afford to give.

He stays outwardly calm, at least as much as possible. It makes sense for Jusis to care about his family, so Gaius can't blame him for being angry. He can't just back down either, though.]

If talking will help, that's what I'll do. But I can't let this war continue any longer.

[He's furious, and he doesn't know why it should hurt so much. He barely even knows Gaius, and it's been days since Gaius had talked to him. Last time was to drop the bomb about their bond, then the next time he wants to talk is this? He clenches his fist.]

Oh yes. You don't want to but if you must.

What, did you think because I disapprove of this war that I would agree to help you get close enough to stab my own brother? After all it's only your plan b.

[The bitterness in his voice is biting.]

No one here wanted to fight, Jusis. You know that.

[He's trying really hard to be composed in the face of Jusis' anger, but he can't help but look frustrated and no small bit sad. He knows killing them is the best option for his people, but he can't exactly ignore the ache. He doesn't like it, seeing Jusis hurt and knowing it's his fault. But he can't give up everything else he stands for.]

I never lied to you. I don't ever intend to. But I'm not going to give up my home or my family for you. I'm sure it seems like I'm asking you to do just that, but we'd all gladly walk away if your father would allow it. I don't have a choice.

[It hurts because he already feels guilty about his family's fault in all this. He knows if his father declared an intention for peace right now it'd be taken. No one on this side wants the war, and all Gaius wants is to end it and protect his people and family. But Jusis also wants to protect his family, as dysfunctional as that family is, as guilty as they are for this war.]

But I do. I will not help you approach my brother if you intend to attack him if he refuses to listen.

I understand.

[He can't ever have expected Jusis to agree to it. Gaius knows, loving your family no matter what is something he finds brave and honorable. But he really doesn't have a choice. If it's Jusis' family or his, there's only one thing he can do.]

I'm going regardless. You don't have to come with me.

[Magic is nice and the healers are working hard. His arm will be out of the sling tomorrow. He has every intention of heading out at dawn.]

You--!

[He's so angry and defensive but also frustrated.]

How am I supposed to soak of your sincerity for peace if I don't even believe it?

What makes you think I'm not sincere?

[It's a level question. Maybe a little too level. His friendly calm is slowly but surely morphing into the same cold steadiness that he'd turned on Jusis when they met.

He doesn't like this at all, but he's set on it.]

What kind of peace will I achieve by accepting their rejection?

[It shouldn't be a thing, but he hates this. He barely knows Gaius, so it's irrational that he feels so upset. He shouldn't feel remotely torn, and when it comes to protecting his family he's not. But he still wants to help Gaius and he shouldn't, after this.

Maybe part of it is his continued guilty conscience for his family's wrongdoings, but that still shouldn't leave him feeling this conflicted and upset.]

And what sort of peace would you earn by killing my family?

[He snaps it, clenching and unclenching his fists.]

Say you did manage to murder my brother and father, you wouldn't survive. Not that it would matter. Were I even to make it to the throne amid accusations of conspiracy, no noble in the land would sit quiet if I then declared I was making peace with the nation that assassinate the king.

[He doesn't add assuming he'd even deign to make peace. He can be spiteful but even he wouldn't continue a war just for revenge.]

I'm aware of that.

[It's not fair. He's only just met Jusis but a part of him is screaming to do something, anything to take away the hurt and anger on his face. Gaius is a straight-forward person. He's not usually the type to get into a situation that makes him feel so conflicted. Even when he has, he's been able to figure out what to do about it.

He doesn't know, now. Jusis isn't wrong. There's a very good chance he'd only be inflaming things. But doing nothing isn't working, either. Even if it's just a chance, shouldn't he try?]

Still, if there's a possibility that they'd be discouraged, it's worth dying for. For us, it can't get any worse.

[That much he knows. But as he thought, it's hard to hold onto rationality when Jusis is angry at him. So he just turns to walk away. He's warned him. That's enough, isn't it?]

[Jusis glares. But what can be say? It's not like they're friends, so he has no sway with Gaius. Neither of them asked for this thing linking them.

He does know he won't let Gaius go alone, for good or ill he wants this war to end as well. But he also wants to protect his family, if they're so stubborn they won't end it and Gaius is so set on murder then he'll just have to prevent it, even if it means thwarting peace.

It makes his head hurt.]

You won't get whether anywhere without me there anyway. If you just want to talk, I'll go with you.

I'm leaving in the morning. If you're there, I'll appreciate your company.

[For now he's walking away. He's got travel prep to do. Food to pack, weapons to re-check, a new horse to pick. Two, he supposes, if he's taking Jusis. An extra horse is a lot to ask in a war situation, but he's upfront about his intentions and while the reaction is mixed, it's a good enough chance at a solution to get him a decent supply ration.

He's going to sleep really hard tonight. He should be unable to sleep at all, but he's already learned to force himself to crash. One can't be groggy in battle.]

[In contrast Jusis hardly sleeps, angry and anxious. Trying to think of ways to persuade Rufus and his father. "I seem to have a fairy tale connection to this foreign warrior and the war is dumb anyway let's end it" does not seem adequate.

Still, he's up and dressed to join Gaius in the morning. Wearing his own cloths and armor, trying to look dignified and aloof and cold.

He doesn't have much to say to Gaius, honestly. Hopefully it works out, but he's tense about it not.]

[Not talking to Jusis hurts. Despite not getting along, seeing him makes the little spark in Gaius' chest light up painfully. He really, really doesn't like being at odds with him. But he's determined, so instead of trying to discuss it again he just nods his acknowledgement, hands the reins of an already-packed horse to Jusis, and mounts his own.]

If we make good time we should reach their camp by midday.

[This war has been going on so long the border is not very wide. In the dark, the lights of the enemy camp are visible. It won't be a long trip, but it must by nature be a bit longer than it could be, since it's best to slip in from the side. Going in the front is just inviting disaster.]

[Jusis takes the reins and mounts smoothly, making some sort of acknowledging noise but otherwise letting silent on the ride. It makes for an awkward and uncomfortable trip, but he doesn't know what to say, and he's a standoffish person by habit. Feeling anxious and worried makes it worse.

At the very least they do make good time, approaching the camp just after noon.

At the very least Jusis being there makes getting into the camp without hostility simple, it's a fast track to the commander's tent, Rufus's base of command, from there.]

[Gaius is really feeling the pressure now. Getting into camp was far easier than anticipated, but being there puts his every nerve on edge. He's in the seat of the enemy, and he doesn't remotely expect them to be as kind to him as his own people have been to Jusis.

Handing his horse off to a stranger feels unbelievably vulnerable, but he has to do it. He does not, however, have to give up his weapon. He's asked to but he just ignores it -- he's not foolish enough to let himself be unarmed here, and Jusis' presence is enough to keep anyone from forcing the issue.

So they make it to Rufus. The problem is, Gaius doesn't know quite how to start. So he just glances at Jusis, hoping he'll make the introduction. At least give him an in.]

[Jusis has been trying to figure out how to do this the whole way here. But the relief of seeing his brother again any real plans from his mind.

He'll just have to try. If he can convince Rufus to agree to peace than there's nothing else to be anxious about. ]

Brother. This is Gaius Worzel. His people have treated me with great kindness. All they want is a peaceful end to this war, and I am here to escort him so he can make his case, because I also think we should end this senseless bloodshed. Please hear him out.

[Rufus for his part smiles at Gaius in a way that is almost alarmingly charming.]

You've brought my little brother home safely, so for that I must thank you. I've heard of your prowess on the battlefield, I'm honored you wish to speak to me in person. Please sit, and let's talk.

[He didn't expect Rufus Albarea so look so... easy to like. Then again, he didn't expect Jusis to be so easy to like, so maybe his perception was skewed. Or maybe it's that he's just too trusting, and it's going to get him killed. Who knows. Right now he's seeking Jusis' features in his brother, as he sits a little stiffly. How alike are they, really? Rufus has done more than enough to warrant Gaius' resentment, and that feeling is certainly there, but so is optimistic hope, and the deep desire to find common ground.

He's nervous, but being combative won't do anyone any favors. He really does want this to work out without any further bloodshed, but the fact that he's got little negotiating power isn't lost on him. Jusis' anger is there too, in the back of his mind, a barrier between him and the will to carry out the second part of his plan.

He puts on his usual smile, covering for his nerves by trying to remain personable.]

Thank you. I can't be grateful enough for the opportunity to sit with you.

[That much is true. He more than half expected to be killed the moment he tried to approach the camp. Being heard is a success in itself.]

As you know, my people have no desire to fight yours. You must also know that we can't simply bow to you without reason. We are our own people. This is our home. But I'm sure you have your reasons for this campaign, and I'd like to understand them. I'd like to see a way to alliance, instead of this... [horrible invasion] meaningless war. I doubted there was any chance of negotiation, but having met your brother, I've begun to think otherwise. The country that raised him must have merit. It's that I've come looking for now.

[Maybe an appeal to familial bonds will help. He's honest, though -- he really likes Jusis, so far. He sincerely hopes he doesn't have to hurt him.]

[Jusis sits stiffly between them while Rufus leans forward, smile open and kind and a bit enigmatic. They do look alike, the brothers, though where Jusis is stiff, awkward and aloof in his shyness, Rufus seems the soul of easy-going charm and confidence.]

It's nice to see him making friends, though it's a bit of a surprise , considering our current state of affairs.

In all honesty, Gaius, this war is going our way. But it has been more costly and prolonged than anyone wanted. It makes it difficult to see where we could benefit from an alliance, but I'm listening.

[He knew before he decided to come here that he'd be at a disadvantage. He knows (has known for awhile) that there's no way his people are going to win this war. What they are doing is drawing it out. It's stubbornness. Pride. But it's a pride Gaius has no intention of letting go of, no matter what Rufus says.]

It's true you'll likely win, in time. But if you do, you'll have rulership of a hostile land. Even if you succeed in conquering us, we won't be cowed. You'd have to wipe us out, and I fail to see the honor in that kind of victory.

[But he knows -- honor might not matter here. If it did, there wouldn't have been an invasion in the first place.]

Besides, we're not your only border. We could be a buffer to the north, and your forces wouldn't be spread so thin. I understand I'm arguing from a weak position, but-- Please consider it. We don't want to be your enemies.

[Rufus looks gently thoughtful. It's not as if he doesn't know everything Gaius is saying is true. It's simply that it's less of a disadvantage than the political problems of pulling out of a war they're technically winning, regardless of the current and future costs.

He can sympathize with the young man in front of him, but a sincere plea doesn't offer him a way to maneuver out of this war.]

I'm afraid that isn't enough. Your bravery and honesty coming here are commendable, but if it were as easy to stop this as that, I'm sure we wouldn't be at this point.

[Gaius doesn't really comprehend that kind of politics. It's foreign to him, and hard to make sense of -- why would anyone behave that way? What's the point of dishonesty, cruelty, any of that?

He doesn't get it. So he can't understand Rufus' position, and he can't see that response as anything but a dismissive insult. He feels talked down to, and he can't think of anything but the thought of his family's bodies as bloodied and empty as those of the friends he's seen dragged off the battlefield at the end of the day. He tells himself to keep his composure, but the way he stands and slams his hands on the table is far from calm.

Somewhere, distantly, in the weak beginnings of a bond that's only going to grow from here, Jusis may feel the echo of a searing rage.]

So you intend to cut us all down? What are we to you, besides an obstacle?!

[Jusis actually flinches at the anger he can feel that isn't actually his own.

Not that anyone is watching Jusis right now. Rufus is continuing to regard Gaius with steady calm, leaning back at the display of emotion but not swayed by it.]

I'm afraid, at the moment, that your people are an obstacle to the goals of my kingdom. And you have yet to offer me an alternative to that perspective.

[It's not that he's not willing to see the end of this, but the terms have to be ones he can work with politically, or it puts his family in a bad position, royalty or not.]

...

[He almost keeps shouting. How can someone be so callous? How can someone stand behind a campaign that's only a drawn-out massacre? But he bites down on it (and on his lip) hard. Useless tantrum-throwing will only make him look childish.

He has nothing else to offer, as far as he's aware. His people have nothing that interests a more advanced, more aggressive nation. The only thing he can appeal to is emotion, and if that's failed what is he supposed to do? He could give up -- he's fairly sure he'd be allowed to leave if he tried. But he can't imagine the feeling of walking through this camp with that shame plastered all over him. He can't imagine meeting his father's eyes and telling him he quit when it got difficult.

For half a second he does glance at Jusis -- no matter how furious he is, he can't stop being aware of him. He can't forget he's sitting there or how angry he was when Gaius threatened to do exactly what he's about to try to do. That glance is a warning, before he reaches for his spear.]

If that's how you feel, this negotiation is pointless.

[He can move fast. The average soldier would have a very hard time not taking the thrust to the chest that comes with his words. But Rufus is not the average person, and Gaius is aware of that before he moves. He's not sure he can do this, and he knows what'll happen afterwards whether he wins or loses, but he feels he has to try.]

[Rufus doesn't have time to dodge or block, not because he's not skilled enough or fast enough, but because Jusis is slamming into his brother, diving between Gaius and Rufus like he teleported there.

Everything about this has been painful, and while he can't actually fight Gaius, he can protect his brother.

He doesn't even know if this stupid bond between him and Gaius will stop Gaius when he can feel how angry and determined Gaius is, but it doesn't matter. He'd jump between a spear and Rufus any day, his safety need not be guaranteed. Rufus is the only brother he has and the only family he actually likes, at least on the royal side of it. Whether or not he agrees with the war.]

[Lucky for everyone involved the "stupid bond" does in fact stop him. The momentum is enough that to divert his spear his whole body has to be jerked sideways. His foot goes out from under him, and while he manages not to land on his face that's only because he's caught himself with his hands, down on one knee with his right leg painfully stretched out to the side.

On the upside: he's flexible so his hip and groin are not particularly injured. It still hurts, and his spear is still on the floor a few feet away, but he finds he's less bothered by physical pain and more by why he's feeling it.]

Jusis!

[He should have guessed Jusus would do that. He shouldn't feel betrayed that he did. But he didn't, and he does, and somehow that's worse than knowing he's probably about to die. Even if Gaius won, he couldn't have gotten out of here alive. He knew that going in, but the removal of self-preservation just makes him even more reckless in scrambling to retrieve his weapon and get to his feet before he can be cut down.

Jusis' distress is there in his senses, behind the overwhelming desperate anger, but he ignores it.]

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