winderlust | i tried to think of a wind pun for this title

[He didn't expect Rufus Albarea so look so... easy to like. Then again, he didn't expect Jusis to be so easy to like, so maybe his perception was skewed. Or maybe it's that he's just too trusting, and it's going to get him killed. Who knows. Right now he's seeking Jusis' features in his brother, as he sits a little stiffly. How alike are they, really? Rufus has done more than enough to warrant Gaius' resentment, and that feeling is certainly there, but so is optimistic hope, and the deep desire to find common ground.

He's nervous, but being combative won't do anyone any favors. He really does want this to work out without any further bloodshed, but the fact that he's got little negotiating power isn't lost on him. Jusis' anger is there too, in the back of his mind, a barrier between him and the will to carry out the second part of his plan.

He puts on his usual smile, covering for his nerves by trying to remain personable.]

Thank you. I can't be grateful enough for the opportunity to sit with you.

[That much is true. He more than half expected to be killed the moment he tried to approach the camp. Being heard is a success in itself.]

As you know, my people have no desire to fight yours. You must also know that we can't simply bow to you without reason. We are our own people. This is our home. But I'm sure you have your reasons for this campaign, and I'd like to understand them. I'd like to see a way to alliance, instead of this... [horrible invasion] meaningless war. I doubted there was any chance of negotiation, but having met your brother, I've begun to think otherwise. The country that raised him must have merit. It's that I've come looking for now.

[Maybe an appeal to familial bonds will help. He's honest, though -- he really likes Jusis, so far. He sincerely hopes he doesn't have to hurt him.]

[Jusis sits stiffly between them while Rufus leans forward, smile open and kind and a bit enigmatic. They do look alike, the brothers, though where Jusis is stiff, awkward and aloof in his shyness, Rufus seems the soul of easy-going charm and confidence.]

It's nice to see him making friends, though it's a bit of a surprise , considering our current state of affairs.

In all honesty, Gaius, this war is going our way. But it has been more costly and prolonged than anyone wanted. It makes it difficult to see where we could benefit from an alliance, but I'm listening.

[He knew before he decided to come here that he'd be at a disadvantage. He knows (has known for awhile) that there's no way his people are going to win this war. What they are doing is drawing it out. It's stubbornness. Pride. But it's a pride Gaius has no intention of letting go of, no matter what Rufus says.]

It's true you'll likely win, in time. But if you do, you'll have rulership of a hostile land. Even if you succeed in conquering us, we won't be cowed. You'd have to wipe us out, and I fail to see the honor in that kind of victory.

[But he knows -- honor might not matter here. If it did, there wouldn't have been an invasion in the first place.]

Besides, we're not your only border. We could be a buffer to the north, and your forces wouldn't be spread so thin. I understand I'm arguing from a weak position, but-- Please consider it. We don't want to be your enemies.

[Rufus looks gently thoughtful. It's not as if he doesn't know everything Gaius is saying is true. It's simply that it's less of a disadvantage than the political problems of pulling out of a war they're technically winning, regardless of the current and future costs.

He can sympathize with the young man in front of him, but a sincere plea doesn't offer him a way to maneuver out of this war.]

I'm afraid that isn't enough. Your bravery and honesty coming here are commendable, but if it were as easy to stop this as that, I'm sure we wouldn't be at this point.

[Gaius doesn't really comprehend that kind of politics. It's foreign to him, and hard to make sense of -- why would anyone behave that way? What's the point of dishonesty, cruelty, any of that?

He doesn't get it. So he can't understand Rufus' position, and he can't see that response as anything but a dismissive insult. He feels talked down to, and he can't think of anything but the thought of his family's bodies as bloodied and empty as those of the friends he's seen dragged off the battlefield at the end of the day. He tells himself to keep his composure, but the way he stands and slams his hands on the table is far from calm.

Somewhere, distantly, in the weak beginnings of a bond that's only going to grow from here, Jusis may feel the echo of a searing rage.]

So you intend to cut us all down? What are we to you, besides an obstacle?!

[Jusis actually flinches at the anger he can feel that isn't actually his own.

Not that anyone is watching Jusis right now. Rufus is continuing to regard Gaius with steady calm, leaning back at the display of emotion but not swayed by it.]

I'm afraid, at the moment, that your people are an obstacle to the goals of my kingdom. And you have yet to offer me an alternative to that perspective.

[It's not that he's not willing to see the end of this, but the terms have to be ones he can work with politically, or it puts his family in a bad position, royalty or not.]

...

[He almost keeps shouting. How can someone be so callous? How can someone stand behind a campaign that's only a drawn-out massacre? But he bites down on it (and on his lip) hard. Useless tantrum-throwing will only make him look childish.

He has nothing else to offer, as far as he's aware. His people have nothing that interests a more advanced, more aggressive nation. The only thing he can appeal to is emotion, and if that's failed what is he supposed to do? He could give up -- he's fairly sure he'd be allowed to leave if he tried. But he can't imagine the feeling of walking through this camp with that shame plastered all over him. He can't imagine meeting his father's eyes and telling him he quit when it got difficult.

For half a second he does glance at Jusis -- no matter how furious he is, he can't stop being aware of him. He can't forget he's sitting there or how angry he was when Gaius threatened to do exactly what he's about to try to do. That glance is a warning, before he reaches for his spear.]

If that's how you feel, this negotiation is pointless.

[He can move fast. The average soldier would have a very hard time not taking the thrust to the chest that comes with his words. But Rufus is not the average person, and Gaius is aware of that before he moves. He's not sure he can do this, and he knows what'll happen afterwards whether he wins or loses, but he feels he has to try.]

[Rufus doesn't have time to dodge or block, not because he's not skilled enough or fast enough, but because Jusis is slamming into his brother, diving between Gaius and Rufus like he teleported there.

Everything about this has been painful, and while he can't actually fight Gaius, he can protect his brother.

He doesn't even know if this stupid bond between him and Gaius will stop Gaius when he can feel how angry and determined Gaius is, but it doesn't matter. He'd jump between a spear and Rufus any day, his safety need not be guaranteed. Rufus is the only brother he has and the only family he actually likes, at least on the royal side of it. Whether or not he agrees with the war.]

[Lucky for everyone involved the "stupid bond" does in fact stop him. The momentum is enough that to divert his spear his whole body has to be jerked sideways. His foot goes out from under him, and while he manages not to land on his face that's only because he's caught himself with his hands, down on one knee with his right leg painfully stretched out to the side.

On the upside: he's flexible so his hip and groin are not particularly injured. It still hurts, and his spear is still on the floor a few feet away, but he finds he's less bothered by physical pain and more by why he's feeling it.]

Jusis!

[He should have guessed Jusus would do that. He shouldn't feel betrayed that he did. But he didn't, and he does, and somehow that's worse than knowing he's probably about to die. Even if Gaius won, he couldn't have gotten out of here alive. He knew that going in, but the removal of self-preservation just makes him even more reckless in scrambling to retrieve his weapon and get to his feet before he can be cut down.

Jusis' distress is there in his senses, behind the overwhelming desperate anger, but he ignores it.]

[It's kind of lucky Jusis is between Rufus and Gaius since that's stopping Rufus from beheading the other man right now. Especially since Jusis is grabbing Rufus's arm to prevent him from drawing his sword, staying between his brother and Gaius.]

Stop it, both of you.

[His voice mostly doesn't shake, but he's pretty upset. Between the anger and betrayal he feels from Gaius and his own fear and anger for his brother's safety, it's distressing. Worse, he really did want it to work somehow. He doesn't want his country to destroy the lives of innocent people for politics, not anymore than they already have.

As for Rufus he's frowning at Gaius picking up his spear, considering that should really have gone through Jusis, and there's anger that he nearly let that happen.]

You're very lucky, Gaius Worzel, that you managed not to hit my little brother.

[Upsetting Jusis is hard enough on it's own without having to know exactly how he's feeling. The sensation is distracting. It's like theres an alarm signaling in his head, telling him he needs to protect the person he's bonded to.

At the moment, he feels a bit bitter about it.]

I couldn't hurt him if I wanted to.

[No point in lying. Rufus probably won't believe in such an obscure myth, and Gaius isn't expecting to survive the day.

Still, he just can't believe they're not connected for a reason. Admitting fate was wrong would tear the foundation out from under his faith. So it's Jusis he's looking at now as he stands, keeping his weapon at ready and just waiting for soldiers to burst in and slaughter him. He's wondering what they're supposed to do. What is Gaius supposed to do? Did he already screw up this opportunity beyond salvaging?]

You're the one who's lucky.

[Jusis is having a mild panic about all of this, so it's Rufus who looks at Gaius with calm curiosity.]

What do you mean?

We've been entwined by the winds-- or whatever it is you believe in here. It may sound outlandish to you but it's been tested enough.

[He can't relax at all. Rufus may well dismiss this as a cowardly attempt to save himself, but Gaius isn't going to withhold important information even so.]

I could find him even a world away, but I can't harm him under any circumstances... his body, at least. I can feel how much it's hurting his heart for us to fight. But I'll still kill you, if it can give me even a slight chance of protecting my family.

[There is sharp embarrassment from Jusis at the way Gaius words that, even in this situation is embarrassing!

Rufus on the other hand arches his brows and looks at Jusis.]

Is this true?

[When Jusis nods he taps his chin, sitting down again.]

How intriguing. Put down your weapon and tell me about this.

[It's embarrassing, definitely, but it's the facts. It's also a fact that he'd be foolish to put away his weapon, and equally foolish not to. He should take the opportunity to discuss, but he's still wary.

Ultimately though he agrees, cautiously following instructions and sitting back down. He has to take the chances he gets, his own safety be damned. But there's also Jusis... He really shouldn't be thinking about him at a time like this but he is. He has to try.]

It's as I said. It's an old legend. Most of the details have been lost, but fate has made us partners, for better or for worse. We can't hurt eachother, and we'll be pushed together regardless of our own judgement. I don't know what else is supposed to happen. But I can definitely sense Jusis, and how he's feeling. I couldn't the first day, but it's gotten stronger since then.

I don't expect you to take it seriously, but I do think it happened for a reason. It's just not enough to convince me to trust you.

How interesting.

[Rufus doesn't fussed that he's not trusted, instead he's getting another enigmatic smile.]

In that case I might just be able to end that war, if you're willing to do what I ask.

...What are you asking?

[Honestly Gaius would do just about anything to end the war, so he's not going to reject an offer before he knows what it is. He's confused, but he's at least willing to listen.]

Jusis would also have to agree, naturally. But this would be simpler to resolve if you got married.

--What?

[Sorry you've bluescreened him. Gaius just freezes, blushing and wide-eyed as he tries to process that.

Crazy mystical bond aside, he only met Jusis a few days ago. He's barely had three conversations with him. That's not exactly the foundation of a marriage! But he's not exactly oblivious to the idea of a political union. He knows that's what's on the table.

He really would do anything to end the war. But right now he's just looking over at Jusis, waiting for him to react and give Gaius a little more space to decide how to respond to that.]

[Jusis is in a similar state of shock. But he's notably not looking at Gaius, staring straight at his brother.]

Is that the only option?

[Rufus smiles at them both gently, but responds to Jusis.]

I'm afraid at the moment, yes. Unless you have something else hidden under your sleeves. But. [He looks at Gaius.] This would have to be accompanied by a formal alliance with your people, or it won't work.

Shall I leave you both to discuss it?

Yes, thank you.

[This isn't something he can just say yes or no to without thinking. Without talking to Jusis, too. It's kind of a big deal, and all. There are a whole lot of questions and reservations he has to address, and it hasn't even really sunk in yet.

So he's just quiet til Rufus takes his leave. After that he folds his arms on the table and plops his head down onto them. What a situation. He was prepared to die, but he's not prepared for this bizarre turn of events. He's just going to take a deep breath, then lift his head enough to look back at Jusis.]

...So. What do we do?

[Jusis for his part is just kind of frozen staring after his brother. He actually starts when Gaius addresses him, turning to look at the center of all these problems.

Frankly he doesn't want to get married to someone he barely knows. Let alone a guy who just tried to kill his brother, fated connection or not.

On the other hand, as a prince it's his duty to serve his people, and if the war can end tomorrow, more people will live, on both sides. That makes it really not much of a choice at all, regardless of his personal feelings, which are as conflicted and confused as Gaius']

I don't see how that's in question. Aren't you willing to do anything to end this war?

Of course I am.

[In that way there really is no choice. As quickly as the question settles into his mind, so does the answer.

He can feel Jusis' discomfort, though, so he assumes Jusis can feel his. It's not a choice, but Gaius can't make himself be happy about it. He can try to be optimistic, though. He just needs to find a positive perspective.]

I should clear the air before we commit. I want you to know that I don't regret what I just did, but I do regret hurting you. I can't ask you to forgive me, but I can promise that if this goes through, I'll do my best not to make it worse.

[Jusis has his jaw set, and much as he'd like to trust Gaius, the man did just pull a spear on his brother. More than that, even if he can feel Gaius means that, it doesn't make him any happier. This bond is invasive enough already, and it hasn't been a week with it and it's already pulling his life in a way he doesn't feel in control of. He doesn't think he'll regret marrying Gaius for the good of both their people, but he may in general have regrets.

But it can't be helped. And he doesn't want to be bitter. It's hard not to feel resentful and upset but even if he can't keep Gaius from feeling it he can keep his expression level and his confused thoughts bottled up.]

I suppose that's good enough. You'll need to speak to your father to arrange the alliance, I suspect. I'll tell Rufus our decision. How many days will you need before your leaders can meet with Rufus and arrange the details?

[He'll need to know what to tell his brother, so his brother can do the politics. And then... Get married? What's that going to be like? It doesn't exactly matter right now, since they're committed, but he suspects marriage and then going their separate ways won't be an option. But it's unlikely he's going to be sent to live in a yurt for the rest of his days.]

You may wish to prepare to travel.

Give me a week. You might suggest to your brother that we set up a neutral meeting point.

[Because Gaius knows his father is not stupid enough to march their leaders into the heart of the enemy camp. It'd be all too easy to just kill them and have done with it.

Jusis is right, though. He should go. After all, he has no illusions about how this will play out if it succeeds. He knows he's not just going home to arrange a treaty. He's going to tell his family goodbye, too.

There's a quiet sorrow seeping in through the link, as Gaius gets up from the table and walks away. He's keeping his head high, but it does hurt. Not just the idea of being torn from his home, but also knowing that his own actions have soured what started as a tentatively pleasant relationship. They could have been good friends, at least. Now he's not sure this "marriage" will be anything but bitter and lonely.

He's going to try to fix it, but right now he's feeling like he screwed up. He'll deal with the rest of his feelings about this when he's away from here. He needs some space. Jusis probably does too.

So he hunts down the horses that they came in on, unwilling to be sent off with different ones, and heads home. The trip is short enough that he can get there not much past dark, so there's no point in spending the night here. Besides, he wants as much time back home as possible before he has to leave.

The farther he gets from Jusis, the fainter the emotional feedback. But the awareness of him doesn't go away. In fact he feels like he can sense Jusis' location even more sharply, and the pull to go find him is worse. He rejects it, though. He's busy talking his father into this whole alliance thing. It's not that Lacan (or any of the other tribal leaders in this camp) are opposed to a treaty. It's just that it's personal. Gaius' family doesn't want to lose him, and he doesn't want to leave them. He can't pretend he's happy about it and he doesn't want to lie to them, so he's open in his reservations.

They don't have a choice, though. Personal feelings aside, trading Gaius for peace is an extremely good deal. Everyone here knows they've been slowly losing this war. They know they're disadvantaged. If they don't accept this they may not get another chance. So the other leaders council Lacan not to hang on too tightly -- Gaius is an adult. He'll be fine. They're not going to hurt him, he'll just... be elsewhere. It's with that thought that a messenger is sent to Rufus, confirming their willingness to go ahead with the plan.

Gaius spends the week doing trying to act normal. He does chores. He spends time with his family. He doesn't pretend he won't miss them, or that this is what he wants for his future, but he reassures them over and over that he's fine with it. It's worth it to him, and it's an opportunity to learn more about the world outside, as well. There's an upside, and he's going to take advantage.

He doesn't actually attend the meeting. He's too busy getting his affairs in order, deciding what to take with him and what to leave behind. But it's a fairly simple treaty, in the end. The invasion will be called off, but the nomads are expected to defend the northern border in the event of a conflict. They're committed to sending troops elsewhere if necessary, as well. In effect they'll become a satellite of the larger nation, but they'll keep their home and their sovereignty and that's what's really important.

They're also getting a visitor of their own. It'd be too easy to use Gaius as a hostage, so someone has to be sent in the other direction as well. The son of a high-ranking noble is a good equivalent, so a poor certain someone is going to go be officially adopted. It's going to be a lot rougher a transition, physically, than Gaius is going to have to deal with, but at least there's no marriage involved.

Speaking of marriage. It takes a bit more time to prepare a ceremony as important as a prince's wedding, so both Gaius and Jusis get a bit more time to come to terms with it. But it's only another two weeks til then, and they've got to feel that connection the whole time. The wedding will be in the kingdom's style, so there are a handful of representatives sent to the nomad camp, to take measurements, explain the proceedings to anyone invited to watch, and coach Gaius on how to behave at a royal function (and after it). Jusis gets a coach too -- for a prince marriage comes with a title, and that means all new duties.

Gaius holds up pretty well, until the night before he has to leave. He's packing up all the gifts friends and family have given him, alone in his tent lit only by the smouldering coals from the fire. He gets all the way through, folding each trinket in a bit of cloth and arranging them in saddlebags in a neat, organized fashion. But when he's done, with nothing left to keep his hands busy and no familiar items left around, the weight of the situation really hits him.

He was ready to die for his homeland, but he wasn't prepared to live away from it. He knows he'll get used to it, and he really does look forward to learning, but... he doesn't actually want to go. He's been given more than one lecture by his handlers about this. He's going to be royalty now. He has to stop thinking of this place as home, and understand that he belongs wherever Jusis is sent to rule -- that he'll be a citizen of another country from here on out. He gets it in theory, but in practice his whole being rejects the idea.

Still, there's no choice but to accept it. Tomorrow, he's no longer the same Gaius Worzel he's been for twenty years. Tomorrow he has to swallow his feelings in a way he's not at all used to doing, because his ability to act appropriately and appease the king will be the difference between a successful alliance and the annihilation of his people. But he's himself for the night, so he takes what feels like the last possible opportunity to cry about it. He can't let his family see this part. He doesn't want to make it harder on them. So he just cries by himself, overwhelmed with a grief Jusis can feel even all those miles away.

The sick thing is, Gaius really wants to see Jusis. The longing is unnatural but it's there, and he can't even tell himself he wishes they'd never met. If they hadn't, peace would never have been achieved. He was right about that much -- that their connection could stop this war. And he really, genuinely likes Jusis. He can see himself growing to like him more, even in this situation. But he's fairly convinced he blew that chance, so optimism proves really difficult that night.

He doesn't get much sleep. But the journey is easy enough, given the really uncomfortable level of care taken with him by his new countrymen. It's a lot farther to the capital than it was to the war camp, and over several days of riding Gaius has managed to put his sadness aside. The new scenery is interesting. The people he meets are kind. He feels awkward when people come into the streets of villages and towns to see him pass, but his natural ability to charm serves him well. He makes a better first impression with the people than his coaches expected -- a good sign, all considered. After two years of war, a wedding is a great way for everyone to take some stress off, and if Gaius is popular with the commoners it makes it all the easier for the nobles to ease tensions in their domains.

He's not thinking about that, though. He's just trying to be nice, and trying to give himself room to feel something other than frightened and unhappy. He can't make himself excited, but he can make himself more numb than miserable.

It's weird, though, pretending to be happy when he's not. It's not the way he behaves. But it's duty now, so he does his best. He's still looking awfully tired though, when they finally reach the palace. He climbs off his horse and stands still a moment, staring at the huge, formidable walls around him, before turning his attention back to the horse. There are servants coming out of the woodwork to take his belongings, and it's frankly overwhelming, but this is a horse from home and it's grounding. There are several such horses with him -- gifts to the king. It's easy to tell which horses are foreign. They're of better stock than anything else here, but they're also nervous in the unfamiliar setting. Gaius can relate -- he also feels out of place, nervous and antsy (he kind of feels like a live gift, too).

If Jusis comes outside, he'll see Gaius there, forehead resting against his horse's, making soft soothing noises that are as much for his own comfort as not.]

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