winderlust | i tried to think of a wind pun for this title

[--What the heck was that? Somehow a head ruffle is even more embarrassing than all the awkward medical manhandling -- because that was medicine for one, and not the first time Gaius has been badly injured for another. This is just... friendly. Friendly, nothing more, and Rean is a demon so why does it make Gaius blush?

His emotions are so out of control right now he doesn't even know what to do with himself.]

Ah... That's true enough...

...Hey, Rean?

[Perhaps he overstepped a boundary. Even if Gaius is no longer willing to kill him he's still something Gaius has been taught to hunt and view as a monster, casual hair-ruffles might not be welcome right after he ruins the man's world view.

He drops his hand and tries not to look apologetic. It won't help to apologize too much, either.]

Yes?

You don't need to leave. Those people are willing to kill or die for you, you know.

[No one should have to leave that kind of love and loyalty behind. Gaius doesn't know how personally close Rean is with the villagers, but they clearly adore him, and they're the ones Gaius was supposed to help. Chasing Rean off would be the complete opposite of what he came here for -- the spirit of it anyway, if not the text.]

[Not the response he expected, and he stares at Gaius in... surprise. Shock, more accurately. It's true though, if Gaius claims Rean is dead or moved on that solves having to leave for a while, a few more decades maybe, until another priest comes.]

That's the last thing they should be willing to do for me though.

[He sighs, but it's fond in an exasperated, worried way.]

But... Thank you.

[This has been the longest he's had a place that one might call a home in a long time, it was a painful thought to leave. And yet he has a feeling he might be leaving for a while anyway, a vague sense of premonition.]

You could still stay here. Say your wounds are too bad and retire. I know you didn't get a great first impression of them, but the villagers here are really good people.

I'm not going to run away from the world.

[That's what it'd be, he thinks, staying here. Oh, he probably could, if he tried hard enough, but he doesn't want to. There are people out there who need him -- more, maybe, than he'd thought. Gaius isn't coward enough to lie to get out of facing it.]

I'll cover for you, but there are too many things I have to do.

I somehow thought you'd say that.

[Which means Rean... Has to make a choice of his own, at some point.]

Haha. I'm not exactly hard to read, am I?

[He's not. Gaius is a really straight-forward person. That honesty makes all this brand-new uncertainty hurt worse, but at the same time it makes it easier to deal with. He doesn't know what he'll do just yet, but he knows he has to do something, and that's better than wallowing in regret.]

You've got the kind of honest personality that's going to get you in a lot of trouble in life.

[Especially now, when his straight-forward world view has been shattered.]

I'm sure I'll be fine.

[Somehow. Even if being true to the beliefs that really matter might mean making himself a lot of enemies. If he wants to stand up for what's right, if Rean's not some stunning exception, then Gaius might have to become a man apart, straddling the line between two very different worlds and two very different sets of people.

That's okay, though. He's not worried about fitting in.]

The winds may change, but I'll weather whatever they bring.

That's very admirable. And it also sounds pretty lonely.

[He runs a hand through his hair and sighs, might as well. He can always come back here, the weight of Gaius's life is on his hands for a lot of reasons, he shouldn't shirk that responsibility just because he's old and tired. And anyway, he likes Gaius. He's definitely not so attached it'll be a problem or anything, he definitely won't get that attached. It's just... Watching over someone who needs it.]

Mind if I join you?

--Join me?

[Please Rean stop startling him he's going to have a heart attack and he's only 20.]

Why?

[You're a big strong man Gaius you can take it.]

Mm... I guess, because I feel responsible for your life changing so drastically, and because I know it can be pretty lonely, facing the world when your whole idea of it's changed, and the people you love might not be able to accept you anymore, simply because of what you are and what you know.

It'd bother me if I was just wondering how you were doing without doing anything myself.

You just thanked me for helping you stay here.

[Rean?? That's just so... so sappy. Gaius is a little flustered, dealing with someone who's so earnest and open and kind. Rean has been kind all this time, but now that they're actually talking it's just another level. How could anyone think of him as a monster?]

I can always come back.

[Wandering for a few decades or whatever won't make the village go away. They'll get older, some will die, others will be born, and he might miss them a bit (he'll miss them so much more than he suspects), but that happens with time, it marches forward. Horribly, inevitably.]

You might request a priest check on them regularly, though.

[While he's gone. And if he comes back to a priest being a normal feature, he'll work around it, or find a new place. Nothing stays the same forever.]

I would. But I don't think--

[He has to stop. Ask himself why he's bothered by the idea and what his objection really is. Does he want to go alone because Rean's a demon, or because he wants Rean to be able to stay here, or just because he doesn't want to drag another person into his own reckless decisions?

Maybe a little of all of it, actually.]

You aren't responsible for anything I decide to do. I'd appreciate having a friend, but I don't want you to give up your home for my sake.

You're giving up a lot more, for people you've never met.

[It's a calm statement, but pointed. Gaius is choosing a really tough road to walk.]

That's my job.

[He'll still think of it as his job even if he gets excommunicated or something. But Rean... what did Rean do to deserve being dragged into it?

And yet Gaius really would be grateful to have a friend. He has a feeling he's going to be losing a lot of the ones he has now, very soon, and while he's a well-adjusted person, he's far from immune to sadness, loneliness, and doubt. He sighs, rubbing his cheek with one hand.]

But alright. If that's what you really want to do, it's not for me to tell you no.

Mm. Glad to hear it.

[He stands, tugging the last of his tattered hoodie off.]

I'm going to get a new shirt.

[Mostly so he can cover the marks he's sure must still bother Gaius, but also just to give Gaius some time alone so he can process this.]

Oh, right--

[Yeah a new shirt because Gaius is rude. Oops.]

You're not injured, are you?

No, I'm fine. You're strong but you're not exactly in great shape right now.

That's not wrong...

[He is really not well still. It's a good thing Rean's as nice as he seemed, actually. Otherwise that stunt would have gotten Gaius killed for real.]

Is there really nothing I can help with?

[He's got sooo much to pay Rean back for.]

Didn't I say before? Just focus on getting better.

[He flashes Gaius a small, remote smile, and disappears inside briefly. He's back shortly with another long-sleeved shirt and gloves. With the glasses on, he's got everything but his hair and lower face covered, so if he turns away he doesn't even look like a demon. Gaius may be taking this amazingly well, but he knows humans have a hard time adjusting their perceptions.]

I was thinking when you feel up to it, we could visit the village together.

[He almost follows Rean, just to prove he can be up and about if he wants. But Rean's not wrong. He still needs a lot of rest -- still, he's not bedridden anymore, so it bothers him to be idle. It bothered him then, too, but he was on too many painkillers to complain. He's not content, but he is staying seated.]

I have a feeling they won't be too happy about that.

I think they'd just be embarrassed. But it's better to clear the air about these kinds of things on both sides.

[He smiles at Gaius again, trying to be reassuring.]

I don't want them to see you as a threat or something they feel guilt over, and I don't want you to have the wrong impression of them. ...As long as you wouldn't mind seeing them, that is.

I don't mind. I'm not angry, I just don't want to cause any more trouble.

[Hmm. Rean's so reasonable it makes even Gaius feel unreasonable. Maybe he's spent too long alone now, doing nothing but hunting other sentient beings.]

I guess you're right, though. I'd rather they not feel guilty.

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